February 18, 2004
Dean is out.
John Kerry and John Edwards are assholes. In any other universe I would just as soon spit on your mother as vote for either one of them, so it makes me feel a little like Hunter S. Thompson must feel every single day of his life to be in the one where I actually will. My apologies to your mom.
A couple weeks ago I didn't feel like going to work, so I called in sick and watched talk shows. Have you ever seen the Wayne Brady show? It comes on around 3, which is later than I would expect a daytime talk show to run. Kids are generally home from school around then, and nobody wants to see that shit late in the day, least of all some jittery fifth-grader high on ritalin. No self-respecting 11 year old is going to sit through an hour of Ellen, they'll just go out and bust in car windows (as is their wont) to kill time before Yu-Gi-Oh comes on.
Anyway.
I don't know anything about Wayne Brady, except that he was probably in some movies and is the most miscellaneous black man on network TV since Kevin Eubanks. His guest was some Pulitzer-winning consumer reporter, whose name (like his life) was utterly unremarkable and anyway I forgot it. Anyway. The part of this show that actually bears repeating was when Wayne took a break from letting the guest pimp his new book about how corporations are really truthful and friendly and the government wastes all your money to show a mid-80s news clip featuring the guest trying to interview a strung-out pro wrestler. Of course this guy walks right up to 230 pounds of muscle and straight up asks the guy - and this takes balls, or incredible stupidity based on the guy's sweaty contorted face, I'll give him that much - "hey, isn't your entire profession a huge fucking lie? I mean come on." The wrestler responded by bitch-slapping him. Not a punch, an open-hand slap, the way you'd slap a disobedient puppy, if you were the kind of surly roid-raged motherfucker who'd hit puppies. As a corrolary to his previous statement, the wrestler did it again, hard enouigh this time to knock Mr. Shocking Wrestling Expose straight to the floor. He spent a few seconds dazed from the impact before crawling to his feet and scurrying down the hallway, his bad 80s mullet flapping behind wildly him.
I have enormous respect for journalists who put their personal safety at risk to do their job, and I generally don't like to see people get smacked, and I don't care because that shit was too fucking funny. And what did Wayne Brady do to console his red-faced guest, who seemed totally unaware that this little relic from his professional past would be trotted out in front of TV land and a live studio audience? He played it again, and afterwards loudly remarked, "MAN, YOU RAN RIGHT OUT OF THERE! LOOK AT YOU!"
If you ever have a chance to catch the Wayne Brady show, I would suggest you skip it, unless it's that episode.
- Lieb
John Kerry and John Edwards are assholes. In any other universe I would just as soon spit on your mother as vote for either one of them, so it makes me feel a little like Hunter S. Thompson must feel every single day of his life to be in the one where I actually will. My apologies to your mom.
A couple weeks ago I didn't feel like going to work, so I called in sick and watched talk shows. Have you ever seen the Wayne Brady show? It comes on around 3, which is later than I would expect a daytime talk show to run. Kids are generally home from school around then, and nobody wants to see that shit late in the day, least of all some jittery fifth-grader high on ritalin. No self-respecting 11 year old is going to sit through an hour of Ellen, they'll just go out and bust in car windows (as is their wont) to kill time before Yu-Gi-Oh comes on.
Anyway.
I don't know anything about Wayne Brady, except that he was probably in some movies and is the most miscellaneous black man on network TV since Kevin Eubanks. His guest was some Pulitzer-winning consumer reporter, whose name (like his life) was utterly unremarkable and anyway I forgot it. Anyway. The part of this show that actually bears repeating was when Wayne took a break from letting the guest pimp his new book about how corporations are really truthful and friendly and the government wastes all your money to show a mid-80s news clip featuring the guest trying to interview a strung-out pro wrestler. Of course this guy walks right up to 230 pounds of muscle and straight up asks the guy - and this takes balls, or incredible stupidity based on the guy's sweaty contorted face, I'll give him that much - "hey, isn't your entire profession a huge fucking lie? I mean come on." The wrestler responded by bitch-slapping him. Not a punch, an open-hand slap, the way you'd slap a disobedient puppy, if you were the kind of surly roid-raged motherfucker who'd hit puppies. As a corrolary to his previous statement, the wrestler did it again, hard enouigh this time to knock Mr. Shocking Wrestling Expose straight to the floor. He spent a few seconds dazed from the impact before crawling to his feet and scurrying down the hallway, his bad 80s mullet flapping behind wildly him.
I have enormous respect for journalists who put their personal safety at risk to do their job, and I generally don't like to see people get smacked, and I don't care because that shit was too fucking funny. And what did Wayne Brady do to console his red-faced guest, who seemed totally unaware that this little relic from his professional past would be trotted out in front of TV land and a live studio audience? He played it again, and afterwards loudly remarked, "MAN, YOU RAN RIGHT OUT OF THERE! LOOK AT YOU!"
If you ever have a chance to catch the Wayne Brady show, I would suggest you skip it, unless it's that episode.
- Lieb
